Thursday, September 18, 2008

Types of Hindu Marriages

According to Manusmriti or laws of Manu there are eight different types of Hindu marriages. They were as follows:

* Brahma marriage
* Daiva Marriage
* Arsha Marriage
* Prajapatya Marriage
* Gandharva Marriage
* Asura Marriage
* Rakshasa Marriage
* Paishacha Marriage

According to the historians these eight different types of marriages prevailed in ancient India. Among the eight types all didn't have religious sanction. The last four were not religiously defined it were condemned.

In Brahma marriage once the boy completes his Brahmacharya (studenthood), he is eligible to get married. His parents then approaches the parents or guardian of a girl belonging to a good family and ask them for the hand of their daughter for their son. The father of the girl also carefully chooses the bridegroom who is well versed in Vedas and of a noble character. This is how a Brahma marriage was arranged. There was no system of dowry. So the girl's family didn't have to give any dowry to the boy's family. There was the ritual of kanyadaan where the father uses to gift his daughter to the boy. In this system of marriage no commercial transaction is done. Among the eight types this is regarded as the highest type of marriage by the dharmasastras.

In case of Daiva marriage the girl is married to a priest (rtvik) during a sacrifice. In this type of marriage the girl's family wait for a reasonable period for a suitable man for their daughter but when nobody turns up they go looking for a groom in such places where a sacrifice is being conducted. Here the girl is groomed with ornaments and married to a priest. According to the sastras Daiva marriage is considered inferior to Brahma marriage because it is considered degrading for the womanhood to look for groom. It is only the groom's family that will seek bride for their son than only womanhood is elevated.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Divorce Help: Getting Rid of Divorce Stress Now!

If you sat down for just a few minutes, you could come up with an entire list of things that a divorce is: painful, frustrating, saddening, depressing, terrible and many, many more. However, the one thing a divorce is for everyone is stressful. Stress is dangerous to our health, emotions and can leave us feeling drained and ready to give up. However, there are some great ways to get rid of stress and this article is devoted to those very things! Here is some divorce advice on getting rid of divorce stress.

Learn to Recognize When You Need Help

While we would all like to think that we are superheroes and that we can make it through everything with no help at all – it’s just not true sometimes. Divorce brings new situations, such as kids custody without the help of your spouse, paying bills and more all on your own. When you need help, ask. If you need a few minutes of peace, have a family member or friend watch the kids for an hour. If you need help with the stress, talk to a therapist. Ask for help and don’t force yourself to bear the brunt of it all by yourself.

Find an Outlet for Your Stress

Another great thing you can do is find an outlet for your stress. There are many different things that will allow you to vent and get rid of some of that anger and stress. For instance, working out is a nice way to get healthier and alleviate some of your stress. Another thing you can do is keep a journal. Write down your thoughts or feelings when you are particularly stressed and say all the things you have too much class to say out loud! This is a great way to vent and reduce your stress. Finding an outlet for your stress is very healthy and will help you to move on in a healthy, stress-free way.

Get Involved

Another thing you can do to reduce your divorce stress is get involved in something. Find a project that is worthy of your time, volunteer your time at a local homeless shelter or VA hospital or do something else that will allow you to connect. Not only will you be doing a lot of good for others who are in need, but you will be focused on something other than your divorce, which is great! This is an effective way to get rid of stress from divorce and move on with your life in a healthy, happy way.

When you are dealing with post-divorce stress, there are many different things you can do to get rid of it. By using the tips and tricks in this article, you can make a difference in your life and get rid of the stress that plagues you.

Monday, September 1, 2008

How Divorce affects Children

Divorce is a hard and trying time for the people involved. Complications often occur and depending on the reasons as to why the marriage is coming to an end there are often bitter feelings between the separated couple and when a child is involved matters often spiral even worse.

The love between a child’s parents and the love that they express to the child is everything that the child knows so when divorce is thrown into the equation the results equal traumatic. Your child will go through a series of emotions when the news that divorce is occurring reaches them, which is why it is important that you tell your child in the correct manner and you reassure them.

Divorce is sadly becoming a common event within families and if children are involved there is a lot more at stake than just a marriage. Consistency to a child is highly important; a loss of routine and a change in your child’s daily habits can have an impact on your child’s life. The reaction of a child to the news of divorce can vary depending on the child’s age and ability to accept what is going on. It is evident that younger children have a harder time dealing with divorce as they can’t fully understand what is happening.

When it comes to a child’s reaction to divorce there are certain emotions that your child will go through starting with grieving. Your child will grieve the loss of family and the daily presence and attention of two parents. After grief comes denial of what is happening. Your child will ignore the fact that the divorce is going on and will refuse to believe that it is happening.

With denial then comes realisation of what is happening, which will result in mourning, depression, mood swings as well as changes in behaviour and anger towards you as parents for allowing the divorce to happen.

Finally your child will understand and start to accept what is happening to their family. You must however remember the importance of answering your child’s questions about what is happening and reassures your child that both you and your partner still love them; this is crucial in reassuring your child that everything will be ok; things will be different but they will be ok.

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